Before reading one of my best's friends post about her perfect live feels like i need to share my own feelings before. As they are not as funny and sunny as hers, so maybe after reading it might be changed. No offence, just saying. 

That there are days which are pretty shitty. When you realize that someone is better than you or just feel like you were not good enough or brave enough to fulfill your dream. Or you don't even know what your dream looks like and it makes you feel like a little girl lost in a crowd. And I was just repeating to myself: next time you should be the best. If you'll have the next time opportunity. You know, feels strange. Feels strange to be this kind of shitty and close to broken at one second. But it's not that i wasn't studying all these years. I know how to calm myself down. That's why my Friday looks like I'm the princess of nowhere. But it makes me feel better. And as it works, it's worth do be done. 

And yes - breath in, breath out and do the next step. I'll start by looking forward to my new list of dreams. I see that there are many things I wish to do or know how to do, I just forgot to repeat it to myself. Or maybe believing that everything is possible and that I'm the one who has a super powers of seeing bright in the darkest. 

And there was one other strange feeling today. I was reading that you're the middle of your five closest friends. Suddenly I count only three. 

And I was really thinking about writing to You today as i always said that you'd be the one which i can count on. But I didn't write. As I know You're not mine anymore.