Life is so hard. How can we be anything but kind?

Life flows. Flows like yesterday is already gone and tomorrow is somewhere far away. Sure, this feeling changes, when you're really looking forward to something or when last days were so amazing you'd like to repeat again and again. But the beauty is - everything is changing. And this time when everything is so intensive that i'm living, as G says, as a mother of two kinds, i feel pretty comfortable that if i'd know that i have only one year to live, i wouldn't change anything. I'm grateful about my work, my family, my friends, my activities, each day i have many things to thank for. I know sometimes it might be hard to recognize the value which is in every person we meet, every experience we had and every feeling we felt. But the truth is - everything happens for a reason. We meet people who make us learn something. We visit places which makes us richer (either outside or inside). We do things which make value for us. To become who you really are - as smart book says. 

Somehow it feels like the ideal me is coming somewhere closer to the one i am now. And you know, i can't hide a smile, cause some of the features of ideal me is so far away, that i can't even imagine myself of being that perfect. But that doesn't change the fact, that freedom inside me is raising and that i feel calm about the world i live in. I know, this feeling might be temporary, I know that it's not perfect, I know that it might crash so suddenly that all these words could mean nothing in a minute. But here and now - i feel grateful and joyful. And what you can do about the spring inside when winter is all around - just let it shine :)  

New years resolutions. Haven't done any yet. The year itself started quite fresh and it's not easy to catch up with all the new things i'm starting. Somehow it starts with the things i was lack of last year, and even if it is uncertain for sure, i believe that everything what happens, happens for a reason. I remember the idea of a book, that we're all creating the life with our thoughts and maybe that's right, cause that's one of the ways i could explain how i do get the work i want or how do i stand in a place i am. And at this point i really need to believe. To believe that everything is for the best and i'm going the way i need to go, to become the real me. Sometimes i feel uncertain, even scared or angry, but if i'd look it from the perspective - i'm happy. Happy to be back into busy life, happy to be closer to my dream, happy to be closer to the people i like, happy to find ways, to create trust, to learn how to talk with the significant ones, happy about decisions i'm making... I don't know how to cook for twelve persons, but i'll do that. I don't know how to write my master's thesis, but i'll do that. I don't know how to set boundaries for the youngsters i'm working with, but i'll do that. And i know i'll learn many new things this year. As i always do. 

Summing up last year experience, i found out that there is no need to worry - last summer really made me realize that. Wherever you go - go with all your heart. Yes, it might be broken. But that doesn't mean it's not worth it. Paris, Copenhagen - traveling is the thing which refreshes me. That's important. Volunteering and people i met there - i feel that one day there will be an end for that. But as long as i stay - i know it's a big part of my life and it really made me grow as a person. And all those people, talkings, hugs and kisses, laugh, cries and tears, seas and vine bottles we drank - it's the joy. The joy i'm most grateful about. 

I promise i'll write my new years resolutions as soon as i'll receive my dream day planner. Thank you for making my dreams come true.